Due to the forecasted cost of the developments, drastic cut backs will be made on planes and signage.

Britain is already being dubbed the 'Airport Island of the World'. Tree huggers and do-gooders are up in arms (and trees) over the controversial proposals. Jedd Lovewood, who claims to be an environmental activist (job dodger to you and I) made no secret of his disgust at the plans. “It’s appalling. Do these Neanderthals who want to turn this once vibrant green land into a giant runway really think that God would approve? I can’t imagine Jesus Christ giving it the go-ahead, duty-free discount or not.”

Georgios Budgetopolis, owner of Well What Do You Expect For A Tenner? Travel, said “I think the proposed developments are great news. It will allow me to increase my profit margin by selling more worryingly cheap flights and add to the number of my battery-hen carriers which I pass off as planes.”  

Since breaking this exclusive news, we here at wemadethisup.com understand that boat and rail travel has reached an all time high.    JG