Barking Goths Booted Off Bus

A goth who leads his girlfriend around with a dog lead was stopped from getting on a bus amid fears for passenger safety, a firm-handed bus firm has confirmed.

Dani Oddball, 25, and his fiancee Tasha Weirdo, 19, of Dewsbury, West Yorks, claim they were discriminated against by the intolerant bus driver and are the victims of Gothaphobia.

“Hold on a minute, what have you done with my Alsatian!?”

The sun dodging couple say they were ordered to leave one bus and were later prevented from boarding another.

We managed to get a quote from Gerald Nofreaks of Get A Life Buses. “I wouldn’t have let them on either. Bloody Goth freaks. Oh, err… I mean, we are very sorry and won’t do it again, etcetera.”

We spoke to the couple after accepting an invitation to join them in their poorly lit basement. Dani, who was clearing the remains of a small woodland animal which he had just sacrificed, said “Gothaphobia must stop. We’re no different from everyone else.” We beg to differ. Dani went on to inform us that he treats his beloved fiancée “like a pet”. Impressionable Tasha, who admits to behaving like a domesticated pet, said “I love how we are.. People’s ignorance doesn’t bother us in the slightest. I love my life with Dani for so many reasons. He’s so good to me. Last week I was so good that when I chased the postman down the drive Dani didn’t tell me off. Ok so I’m back in the kennel but I wouldn’t want it any other way.”  JG