Cameron’s Entrance
David Cameron is the new king of charismatic entrances. The Tory leader spectacularly made his way to the podium at a recent Conservative conference, a move which has since been dubbed as “more extravagant than Apollo Creed’s ring entrance in Rocky IV.”
Accompanied by a five man entourage and to the sound of William Hague's energetic rendition of the David Bowie classic "Heroes", Cameron made his way on stage. Sparring with the air as he did so, Cameron could also been seen sporting an ‘Only Cameron Can’ top hat and waistcoat.
Cameron’s stance has impressed professional boxers worldwide.
As the streamers fell and the fireworks dispersed, signalling the end of his unique arrival, Cameron got down to business. He began his speech by stating that he would not "read from a script like other political dinosaurs" and then promised that his time at the podium would be "the most elaborate of spectacles" and "the most visually amazing sight since Kylie squeezed into a pair of hot-pants."
Cameron was relentless during his 67-minute speech, refusing to let a single opportunity pass at attacking Gordon Brown. “He’s clearly running scared by refusing the people the election which they are entitled too. Well, I say running, it’s more of a waddle really.”
We managed to catch up with the Prime Minister and ask him if he had anything to say to Cameron. What he felt about Cameron’s unorthodox entrance, accusations that he is scared or the general threat Cameron and his party pose. “No” groaned Brown. Cameron however, had plenty to say. As the screams of adulation continued and yet another group of teenage girls passed out, Cameron said, “From this day forth I am no longer just David Cameron. I am now David “Mr Electricity” Cameron.” JG