Sir Menzies Campbell has resigned as leader of the Liberal Democrats.
Party president, Simon Hughes, said in a statement: "Ming Campbell has submitted his resignation as the Leader of the Liberal Democrats with immediate effect. Over the past two years, Ming has given stability and purpose to our Party. He has hugely professionalised the working of our Party and led its very successful preparations for the next general election. Ming has made this decision - as all his political decisions - in the interest of his Party and Liberal Democracy throughout
We managed to catch up with Ming at the care home where he currently resides. The political veteran pulled no punches when revealing his reasons for moving on. “I’m 82 years… I mean, I’m not a young man anymore. To be honest, I only agreed to become leader to get rid of that ginger haired Irishman.” We then corrected Sir Campbell by informing him that Charles Kennedy is in fact Scottish, “Same difference” he snapped.
Engulfed by nostalgia or perhaps just in need of his mid-afternoon nap, Ming continued, “Naturally I am sad to bow out from an industry which I have loved for over eighty years. However, I will be kept occupied by the likes of senior citizen favourites Who Do You Think You Are?, Antiques Roadshow and repeats of Ground Force.
“I also didn’t want people to get me confused with that Cameron chap from Labour. Our surnames are very similar and it’s even started to confuse me. I would also like to take this opportunity to quash rumours that I’m leaving the Party due to my age. I’m leaving because the Lib Dems will never win an election as long as I’ve got a hole in my aged arse.”
We then assisted Ming in getting up from his arm chair. “Having said that, I truly believe that I was a great leader for an albeit two-bit Party. Even when the Welshman was in charge, people knew my worth. I feel I was a great leader and a noble deputy and will go down as one of the best ever political number two’s.” JG