First they went and got the vote, then they went and got themselves a Prime Minister and now this. The fairer sex have long been angling for equal rights and now their cause has been given a shot in the arm by one of the last bastions of manhood; Match of the Day.
Jacqui Oatley-Aniston…still on a break from Ross.
Jacqui Oatley, a BBC Five Live commentator, moved into the big league, quite literally, in April after being handed the mic for the Premiership game between Fulham and Blackburn. Equal rights campaigners have hailed it as a major blow, landed in favour of sexual equality in the workplace. Harriet Beardface, from the Campaign for Equal Rights Versus Indiscriminate Xenophobia, said yesterday, ‘Bloody right, more power to her. Now all we have to do is get that idiot Andy ‘I told you so’ Gray off our screens and the world will be a far more pleasant place.’
The appointment did not go down well in all quarters, though. The feeling on the street was one of bemusement among die-hard fans. Brandon from Crawley was almost hysterical, ‘A bloody woman commentatering on football? Do me a favour. What’s her husband and kids gonna fink about that when tea’s not on the table when they come home from the game? Between you and me, that’s why there’s so much bloody domesteric violence these days, bloody women gettin’ all up ‘emselves ‘n’ everyfin.’
Mason from Moss-side was almost blind with rage, ‘Fu**in’ women watchin’ the game and talkin’ all over it while I’m trying to concentrate on it’s bad enough, so now there’s one bein’ paid to do it? What’s she gonna fu**in’ talk about? How nice the pattern on the grass is? How nice the players’ legs are? Do me a favour, our kid, someone should shove her back on the till at Morrisons and let her know here place once and for all. It’s a fu**in’ liberty, the world’s gone to shi*e.’
Senior management at the BBC have defended the appointment of Oatley, citing her work at Radio Leeds and BBC London as proof that she has ‘paid her dues’ and is well worth her place on the Match of the Day staff. Malcolm Combover, Director of PC Operations at the BBC said, ‘Listen, for decades now people have the likes of Barry Davies, John Motson and Tony Gubba commentating on the major games and it’s about time the BBC moved with the times. Jacqui has proved herself on the radio and has extensive knowledge of the game, indeed she would still be playing now if it wasn’t for a career-ending injury.’ In response to the accusations that the appointment of Oatley was just a token gesture to appease the feminists, Mr Combover said, ‘That’s just a complete load of tosh. I mean really, we didn’t just employ Motson to fulfill our quota of special needs people, we didn’t just employ Gubba to appease the dwarf contingent and we certainly didn’t mean to employ Jonathon Pearce at all. He was clearly a mistake, for which I take full responsibility…sorry.’
While the arguments will go on for a long while yet, we’ll let you make up your own minds as to the wisdom of the BBC’s decision to let a woman commentator loose on television. To help you decide, here’s an excerpt from the transcript of the commentary from the Fulham versus Blackburn game from the 21st of April. Enjoy.
Jacqui Oatley: Now, a put in from that nice American chap, um –
Mark Lawrenson: McBride, it’s McBride.
Oatley: Oh yes, that’s him, McBribe, throws it to…oh dear that’s not good, it’s gone to a man wearing a different colour shirt, a kind of Harlequin-esque number, very fetching. McBridle must be so embarrassed. The audience don’t like it either, they’re shouting and waving their match pamphlets in anger. So, Blackpool have it and it’s gone back to the goalie, Fidel –
Lawrenson: Friedel, Brad Friedel, he’s an American international for God’s sake.
Oatley: Really? Another American chap? My, they are coming on aren’t they? Anyway, the goalie kicks it reeeeaaaalllyy long and it bounces off the head of one of the Fulham players and goes to, um –
Lawrenson: McCarthy, Benni McCarthy. He’s scored, it’s 1-0.
Oatley: Oh yes, McCartney scores and that was really A1 football from Blackburn.
Lawrenson: ROUTE ONE, you mean route one. For f**ks’ sake.
NJ