Nanny State Reversal

Today the government asked parents to challenge schools on their selection decisions and also asked people to always question their doctors when given medical advice.

"Oh, do what you want, I'm concentrating on not crapping my pants right now."

“We have been given rubbish advice for years,” said an irate politician this morning, “and it’s about time we ask for a second equally rubbish opinion from somebody else. If you want my view…” but unfortunately no one did.

A beleaguered Gordon Brown was not seen today, as he has been advised not to show a beleaguered face in public. However, an unofficial blog entry under the apparent pseudonym Imthebloodyprimeminsterdontyouknow, has made the announcement that No. 10 is far too busy to interfere in the school admissions process, is not medically qualified and anyway has nothing to do with government.

A statement from Buckingham Palace read, “It would be helpful if all subjects could just run their own lives for a while. Quite honestly, you are all perfectly capable and ought to start thinking for yourselves. If anyone cannot run their own life, they can stay in the Palace (possibly in the basement in the East Wing although you will need to dust the cobwebs away from the grand piano and the paintings of Cezanne).

We asked some bloke on the street what he thought, but he said little of interest and all that he did say was something about the American presidential election, and that was only because that was all that had been in the media for the last month.

Incidentally, Russia has cut off Ukraine’s oil pipeline, they’ve run an undemocratic election, installed a puppet premier and are looking to pay off a few Americans with talk of cash payments via the bank accounts in the Cayman Islands and Tahiti (that’s new), but please don’t let that bother you.

This month's Guest Writer is known only as Andrew, a 30-year-old  describing himself as 'some government worker'. While we only have that limited information, we're pretty sure that we finally have proof that MI6 has tapped into our site.