Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is currently at the centre of a heated debate over his west end appearance in the play Equus, which opened on February 27^th. He plays the part of a horse-obsessed stable-boy and the script calls for full frontal nudity and a rather ‘lengthy’ sex scene with his female co-star, Joanna Christie. While the arguments rage between the play’s producers and outraged parents (one parent going so far as to say, probably hysterically while clinging onto a Bible, 'We as parents feel Daniel should not appear nude. Our nine-year-old son looks up to him as a role model. We are very disappointed and will avoid the future movies he makes.'), we decided to ask Radcliffe’s co-stars what they thought of the whole furore.

'Is that a  wand or you just pleased to see me?...Oh, it’s just a wand.' 

Horsey McHorse, who plays ‘Whitey’, the object of the stable-boy’s affections, made clear his confusion and slight irritation over the whole affair.

“I just don’t understand it. I’m naked for pretty much 99% of my life, apart from when there’s a nip in the air and my owner throws a scabby blanket over me. No-one’s up in arms about that are they? Even during rehearsals I’m in the buff and no-one raises any eyebrows. Personally, I think that it’s all been blown out of proportion. I mean I’ll be on stage, Wang out for all to see, but will they be saying. ‘Look at that one, it’s 3 feet long!’? No, of course they won’t. They’ll have the magnifying glasses out for Harry Potter’s trouser snake. I mean, hello! Amazingly huge love sword, right here! And don’t even get me started on the ridiculous gulf in pay rates. I don’t know what Potter’s being paid but I’ll wager it’s more than ‘all the nose-bags and apple-halves you can manage’!”

Although Radcliffe was unavailable for comment, we have it on good authority (my gran, she’s a doll), that he has made it clear during recent rehearsals, that Horsey must cover up whenever he’s not on stage due to ‘inferiority complex’ issues.

Advance ticket sales soon hit the £1 million mark. One excited theatre-goer, Bianca, 16 from Essex, said, “Equus is a masterpiece of theatrical writing and I just couldn’t pass up this opportunity to see a classic given a contemporary re-working and played out to a contemporary audience. And I get to see Harry Potter’s cock…which is a bonus.”   NJ