Ever since their rise into the charts some years back, Keane have proudly gone about their music making without using anything more than a drum set, some keyboards and lead singer, Tom Chaplin’s voice. That was until last night at Wembley Arena.

Tom Chaplin…still not quite grasping the concept of the telephone.

During the sold out gig, the chart-worrying band’s frontman, until that moment known only for his vocals and a little stint in celebrity rehab, stunned the band’s loyal following of fans by daring to produce, and then go on to blatantly play, a guitar. Stunned into silence by the revelation, of which there had been no prior warning, the fans stopped their cheering and jumping around, although that may have been due to the fact that the band were playing one of their slower and more thoughtful songs. Luckily, they soon warmed to the new addition to the band and by the end of the song, the cheers were back and the brave step had been rewarded by their fans taking the leap of faith with their heroes.

However, just hours before the concert was due to begin, Tom was seen backstage holding the acoustic guitar he was due to unveil that night. Far from being able to play it, onlookers marveled at his downright ignorance of what he held in his hands. One groupie, Maxine, 47 from Durham, said, ‘It was weird, he was standing there, looking puzzled and scratching his head. Then he started sniffing it, licking it, banging it on his head and even trying to take a bite out of it. Actually he seemed to enjoy banging it on his head because he wouldn’t stop laughing hysterically and jumping around like a chimp.’ Fortunately the other band members weren’t far away and were quickly on the scene to remind Tom what it was.

The use of such an instrument, for so long shunned by the band, drew mixed reactions from the fans as they left the arena. Here are a few comments that we made up;

Timmy from Sutton Coldfield said, “Yeah, I liked it, it was wooden and it made a nice sound. Looked heavy though.”

Janine from Crawley said, “I think he looked sexy behind it, to see him play it just made me really, really, really wet.”

Max from Putney declared, “Guitars? What the hell next, f***in’ tambourines?”

Clarence from Chipping Campden, was, we think, disgusted too, “I’ve never been so insulted. Firstly there was a bloody guitar, then there were the flashing lights. I’m not epileptic, or a racist for that matter, but they could have said something at the beginning about the lights, I mean what if someone had exploded? And don’t get me started on how loud the whole thing was. I just spent the whole night worrying how all the birds outside were going to get any sleep with that noise going on. I’m going home to consult my dictionary to find more words that mean ‘stretchy’”

The music press has yet to react to this tectonic shift in the industry but we of course will report the fallout from this momentous revelation after we’ve had our tea. Or after our nap. Whichever is later. And of course there’s always Scrubs to squeeze in there somewhere, have you seen it? It’s great, all funny and everything.    NJ