I have chosen this photo for the following reasons:

- I don't look overly fat for once.

- The location (Ko Phi Phi).

- The comedy beard, which I was growing for a bet...I won.

Below are Nick's answers to some equally pressing questions:

What three things would you take with you to a desert island?

1. A fully functioning and fully fuelled private jet.

2. A qualified and ridiculously sexy female pilot.

3 . A co-pilot so I could get it on with the pilot. In fact, promote the co-pilot and the former lead pilot (is that what they're called?) can live it up in the back with me.

Anyway, 'take with me'? Like, I would go there out of choice? What kind of a world do we live in where a man does that? Unless he knows how to get hold of all of the above, of course...am  I still writing?

 

What would you really like to know?

This weeks winning lottery numbers. Failing that, I'd like to know why, whenever I wake up at 6.45a.m. during the week I feel like turning over and going back to sleep rather than going to work, but at the weekend I literally sit bolt upright on the stroke of 6.45a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep if you injected me with elephant tranquilizer.

 

What do you like?

The colour blue and Quiche Lorraine from Sainsbury's...preferably the two will never mix.

 

What don't you like?

Blue Quiche Lorraine.

 

Who's the better writer you or Jack?

I am. End of.

 

If you were a super-hero who would you be?

Spiderman. One reason - Kirsten Dunst.

 

Is he actually a super-hero?

Anyone who can prize open those knickers is a hero in my eyes.

(I am SO PC)

 

What is your favourite word?

The one that gets into the above-mentioned undergarments.

 

What are you most likely to say?

Yes, I believe I will have a fourteenth piece of cake, thank you.

 

To see more of Nick's writing, opinions and reviews, visit his Blog.

To contact Nick direct, e-mail nick@wemadethisup.com