Mobile Phone Companies Get Desperate

Things are getting a little nasty and completely ludicrous in the world of mobile phone network providers.

Such is the intensity of the competition that the need for companies to undercut, back stab and tie rivals' shoe laces together and then push them over, has reached fever pitch.

T-Mobile’s ‘phone with a telescope built-in’ promotion has proved very popular.

Phone giants Orange are currently offering 300 minutes, 300 texts and 300 sexual favours per month. Bitter rivals o2 hope to entice new customers by offering free calls to anywhere in the world, free texts to anywhere in the world and free transportation to anywhere in the world. Without a doubt the biggest draw for this deal is the fact that, like, Michelle McManus at a buffet, it comes with no limits. o2 customers can stay on the phone for the rest of their lives and it won't cost them a penny. Admittedly, that would be extremely sad.

T-Mobile has launched an equally aggressive strategy to boost sales. Not only are they guaranteeing customers 100% network coverage on all international calls, they also promise to send a member of staff to perform the daily working duties of any potential customer. Employees of the company will undertake new customers' jobs if they promise to just consider purchasing any T-Mobile product.     JG